Diogenes Fernando recently had a chat with The Man’s banker buddy, who is an expert on Sri Lanka’s foreign-exchange inflows, or rather lack of them.
He pointed out that if half a million expats lived here and spent an average $300 a month on rent, $100 on utilities and $400 on day-to-day expenses, that would be $5 billion a year. Which could double or treble if they were medium or high net worth.
Of course, he said, that’s unlikely to happen until the delusional xenophobia among the ruling elite regarding our so-called independent national sovereignty, for which read Sinhala Buddhist exceptionalism, takes a back seat.
But it could happen if we followed the example of, say, Britain, our former colonial rulers, and positively encouraged wealthy foreigners to come here, rent a property, and spend, spend, spend!
And after the rupee’s devaluation, he added, they don’t actually have to be that wealthy. Even British pensioners could manage it—in fact, they’d be better off, and with a better quality of life into the bargain.
He also confided that just such a scenario was in The Man’s mind when he decided to run for parliament. Because apart from anything else, it would present all sorts of fruitful business opportunities.
On that subject, The Man revealed at yesterday’s meeting of the CatAstrophe asset-relocation fund executive committee that he is temporarily reining in his political ambitions. Better to wait until the time is right, he said.
What he meant was, better to wait until he can more accurately gauge which way the wind is blowing in order to court the favour of whichever faction appears most likely to win the next election.
Such foresight notwithstanding, he also knows that in politics, today’s favourite can become tomorrow’s also-ran. The odds depend on how much is being gambled— and the smart money always makes sure it backs the winner.
Which reminds Diogenes that The Man belongs to a racing syndicate with horses in training in England, Dubai and Singapore. So he must know better than most why the ‘Sport of Kings’ is also known as the ‘Sport of Knaves’.
That’s because the favourite can be, and often is, nobbled or ‘got at’ in any number of ways: a stable lad bribed to kick its leg, or the farrier to put a nail through its foot; a fire; a dodgy vet; the owner’s wife kidnapped…
The question is: To what lengths will each runner’s connections in the ‘Lanka Election Gold Cup’, aka the ‘Deadbeat Misfits Donkey Derby’, go to ensure that their favourite is first past the post..?
Meanwhile, as chance would have it, Diogenes later meets retired schoolteacher Archie, one such above-mentioned expat, and his wife Margot at the bar in the Feisty Fisherman.
More foreigners? Great idea, he said, the more the merrier! But for God’s sake, don’t turn Sri Lanka into another Costa Del Sol! [Marbela is Spain’s hotspot for foreign mobsters, gangsters, drug lords, arms dealers, money launderers, and assorted hackers and hookers. In short, an archetypal ‘sunny place for shady people’—or as the UK’s Guardian newspaper puts it: ‘A united nations of crime’.
As for The Man’s future parliamentary ambitions, muses Diogenes, we’ll just have to wait and see. But he’s reminded of that most enigmatic of ancient Chinese curses: ‘May you live in interesting times…’